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[2 Min Read]

“I elect Ted to inform Bleep-Blorp,” declared the minister of defense

“M-Me? Why do I have to tell the gun-toting aliens?” Ted looked frantically between his peers

“You’re an ambassador, Ted. It’s time to serve your country.” Explained the general

“But what if they don’t like the answer?” Ted dabbed his moist forehead with a pocket handkerchief

“Then it’s been good knowing you soldier,” The president saluted him

Before Ted has time to respond, the secretary of state grabs him by the collar and throws him into the adjacent room. Locking the door behind him.

Off balance, Ted finds himself before the king Gorian and his compatriots. “What news do the other ape men bring?” King Bleep-Blorp’s face pustules pulsed beneath his purple skin

“W-Well, King Bleep-Blorp, sir,” Ted stuttered and turned ghostly white “I’m sorry to inform you t-that the Tyrannosaurus Rex has been extinct for some time…”

“Extinct!” The cluster of other-worldly creatures cry

“Fine,” States the king “Then we will just have to hunt the other greatest game earth has to offer.” He pumps his plasma rifle

“M-M-Mankind?” Ted cowers

“Mankind?” Bleep-Blorp looks to his fellows “No silly ape. Word of your ‘Chicago style’ pizza is known far and wide. Tell me, where are the closest hunting grounds?”

“Pizza? Well there is Al’s pizza shack down the block,” Ted points a trembling finger out the window

“Excellent!” Bleep-Blorp picks the ambassador up by the scruff of the neck “Lead us squishy one!”

“I’m going to ask for an extra Italian sausage on mine.” States one of the armed Gorian’s as they gleefully exited the White House.

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